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"DETOX"
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Detox.
We’ve all heard of the sensational
benefits of cleansing the body through periodic detoxification.
When we detox,
we give added help to flush toxic build-up, so the bad efficiently exits the body through our waste.
Well this writing is not about a
“body” detox. Sometimes we need to flush toxic people — for our health.
Don’t delude yourself. Believing
you can change a toxic person, is believing you can polish a turd. Just
as the chemicals we purge during a body detox, we need to detox
poison people — without apology, without explanation.
Simply let them drop and splash into the porcelain throne.
Ditch your denial. Admit you
are dealing with a toxic person:
1. THEY TALK FAR MORE THAN THEY
LISTEN
These people are all about themselves. They do not actually care about
you or how you are doing. If they do ask you how is it going, it
is usually obligatory, because they want to segue the conversation to
themselves.
2. THEY ARE NEVER WRONG
Toxic people are quick to judge others. Unless they are faking
humility for appearances, toxic people rarely see any faults in
themselves. Their self-righteousness stems from an underling cynicism they carry against the
rest of humanity. They cannot admit that they were wrong. They never
apologize. These people will not accept constructive criticism, so they are very hard to work with.
3. DRAMA KEEPS FOLLOWING THEM
They might say they don’t like drama. But they secretly thrive on it.
Toxic people create drama. When all seems quiet, it won't last long.
Their drama erupts in intervals like clock-work. And the drama keeps
following them. They get into fights, disagreements, cast themselves at
the center of gossip and scandal, and on and on. Real or unreal. But it
will never be their fault.
4. THEY FORCE RELATIONSHIPS
Because they choose not to use their creativity to better this world,
toxic people create a false inward world. Despite giving the
appearance of being in the real world of benevolence, (stroking egos
and staging their own martyrdom) -- the royalty of toxic kingdoms are
masters of illusion, designing a subversive self-serving world.
A toxic king
or queen of this world can’t create their kingdom alone. So they
attract
nearby/vulnerable travelers to be pulled in, of which stir the
hazardous vapors into a brilliant reaction -- all under the well
patroled skies of their very own orb...
...Planet Toxidia.
Planet Toxidia's mutant glow may appear
alluring. But as you admire its hues, satellites, and bewitched
spacecraft… stay clear of its gravity; don't get pulled in. It’s a sick
system. Planet Toxidia
is run under a subversive toxarchy. Relationships in a toxarchy are not
about genuine connection or real love. These aliens want as many
willing accessories to stoke Toxidia's fumes. Sometimes the
participants are promised nothing more than to be bathed in the
hyper-lurid radiance. A sense of purpose, with false benefits. The
greater number of humans who illuminate the toxarchy, the greater
Toxidians and
their respective planets
appear legitimized, even glorified. This means humans on Toxidia --
regardless of any/all virtues they inherintly possess
-- are demoted to a mere number. There is no relational value on
planet Toxidia. Relationships become primative: "host/parasite"
based.
5. THEIR EXPERIENCE IS THE
STANDARD BY WHICH EVERYTHING SHOULD BE JUDGED
Toxidians cannot accept that everyone has their own world view, and
thus multiple approaches to negotiating the world. For example: when
they
observe you handling a situation your particular way, they will object
and correct you by overstating their dogmatic “correct way”. The toxic
person’s ego is reinforced with a sense of superiority by the words and
attitude they choose to use to correct.
6. THEY OFTEN LIE
Distorting the truth is part of a toxic person’s nature. Toxidians tend
to twist facts for their benefit. Their aim in this is to look good and
nothing will ever be their fault. They lie about little things. They
lie about big things. They mix truth with lie to deceive further. They
track their lies with artful precision. Deception is the offshoot of
their cynicism against humanity.
7. THEY LACK TACT AND GENERAL
COURTESY
Toxidians will claim tact and courtesy are weaknesses keeping them from
"getting the job done." In reality, they hide behind this excuse. Toxic
people simply purge compassion from their operational core. Remember they are cynical toward people
in general. Their attitude is really a rebellion of sorts. Deep down
they have given up on the human race and any empathy they should give
thereof.
8. THEY EXHIBIT CONTROLLING
BEHAVIORS
The Turds of Toxidia need to feel large and in charge. So if
anything does not go as a tyranical turd planned, he/she tends to
overreact. They are threatened by anyone else telling them what to do.
Toxidians want to have as much power over others as possible.
9. THEY LOVE TO TALK ABOUT OTHER
PEOPLE
Toxidians crave gossip. It is an extension of their control. They are compelled to know everything that is
happening to everyone. They are masters at gaining the trust of others
— just to get the juicy details. If details are few, not a problem.
They will pump details in on the fly, just to gin up listeners.
Toxidians — like bullies — lift their self-esteem by bringing others
down.
Concerned
of labeling? Don't want to be too quick to judge? Awe, how sweet.
But then again, toxic people are counting on your common decency to
enable them.
Psychologists point out that this
brand of sociopath have been around forever. They are
everywhere. If you haven't already, you will encounter them.
Beyond the above outward
traits of a toxic person, your inward experience can futher confirm if
you are really dealing with Toxdian deceptionists.
Consider 1-9 above, and if the following dynamic is also true:
1. You dread being near them.
2. You get angry or exhausted around them.
3. You feel like you are supposed to take care of them.
4. They don’t accept ‘no’ as an answer.
5. You feel like you have to always prove or explain yourself to them.
6. Your values go out the window.
7. You are extremely cautious when you are near them.
8. Their drama has a negative impact on you.
So who is it? Name them.
The initial and easiest deterrent of Toxidians is to fly right by planet Toxidia. Don’t land, and
certainly don’t placate their culture. However, if you have to intersect
their orbit by your occupation, extended family, or otherwise …
neutralize them with keen precision.
HOW WISE PEOPLE HANDLE TOXIC
PEOPLE:
Below, our friends at https://www.powerofpositivity.com
provide an outstanding study summary
on how effective people deal with toxic people. The research of
these successful folks unveils their savvy wisdom in practice when
encountering a social snake:
1. THE WISE ARE VERY SELF-AWARE
Psychology Today defines the term as “accurate appraisal and
understanding of your abilities and preferences and their implications
for your behavior and their impact on others.” A keen sense of
self-awareness is also an incredibly powerful prevention tool – and a
essential one. Being self-aware allows us to acknowledge, understand
and account for any internal or external influence that threats to
“throw us off our game.” Of course, this includes toxic folk.
2. THE WISE FORGIVE, BUT DON’T
FORGET
The gray matter between our ears is not the only determinant of
intellect. Intelligence is multifaceted. As it pertains to handling
toxic people, emotional intelligence takes the cake.
Emotionally intelligent people understand forgiveness as a necessary
component of psychological well-being. However, they also understand
the importance of not forgetting those who betrayed their trust. This
intelligence allows the person to focus their efforts on building
relationships with individuals who have earned such a right.
3. THE WISE ARE UNAFFECTED BY
CIRCUMSTANCE
Let’s not kid ourselves: it isn’t easy to remain emotionally neutral
when amongst toxic people; however, it is an absolute necessity.
Resilience is an attribute of emotional intelligence – and one that
pays significant dividends when having to deal with toxic people. Since
we’re on a “definition-fest,” we’ll define resilience as “that
ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life
and come back stronger than ever.” Make no mistake, toxic people cause
many to be “knocked down,” but resilience allows us to come back strong.
4. THE WISE QUICKLY ESTABLISH
BOUNDARIES
Smart people often possess the innate ability to remain productive and
effective. To this end, they’ll quickly mitigate any detectable threat
that may affect that ability. Relatedly, when smart people detect toxic
people, they’ll take swift and effective action.
This doesn’t mean they’ll be rude and abrasive. They’ll be polite and
firm, yet unambiguous and uncompromising. They just won’t allow
negative people to affect they in any way, shape or form.
5. THE WISE ARE “ENERGY-SMART”
While toxic people thrive by draining others energy, smart people
thrive by maintaining their energy supply. Being “energy-smart” simply
means understanding how to manage ones energy in the most efficient way
possible.
When we’re energy-smart, we won’t allow toxic people to drain this
precious resource. Instead, we’ll conserve it in order to take positive
action.
6. THE WISE FOCUS ON THE TASK AT
HAND
When it comes right down to it, toxic people are simply another
external distraction. This perception isn’t dehumanizing – it’s
realistic and fair. In fact, many toxic people intend to distract
others with their antics.
Smart people just do not allow permit such distractions. They’ll focus
on what’s in front of them and move on…regardless of who is around them.
7. THE WISE LOOK FOR THEIR SUPPORT
SYSTEM
As mentioned, smart people are often driven people – individuals that
seek a better life for both themselves and their loved ones. It’s also
quite likely that such individuals understand the importance of
mentorship and teamwork. When faced with the challenge of a toxic
person (or group of people), smarties will tap into their pool of trust
mentors and co-workers to rectify the situation.
8. THE WISE QUICKLY CHECK NEGATIVE
SELF-TALK
Even those with high emotional intelligence are susceptible to negative
self-talk from time-to-time. Toxic people can induce negative thinking
in others if the recipient is unprepared for such – and this happens to
all of us. However, smart people are often able to quickly recognize
and neutralize negative self-talk. The ability to neutralize includes
counterproductive thoughts that arise from a toxic person.
9. THE WISE ARE SOLUTION-ORIENTED
As is apparent by now, intelligent people have the talent for seeking
out solutions to problems. Dealing with a toxic person or group of
people is just another issue that demands a solution. In typical
fashion, emotionally intelligent people will assess their options and
take the appropriate action.
Detox.
~ Now go; flush; and wash your
hands. Cheers, to your health! ~
Excerpts from,
Psychology Today; Peace Quarters; Power of Positivity "How Smart People
Handle Toxic People" Copyright by Power of Positivity LLC
Recipient of 8 "Excellence in Media" Angel Awards
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